Bringing Stupid Back

The Brewhaha is proud to welcome back an esteemed member of it's already talented editorial staff, noted pundit and philosopher, Wanga Mozul-Cuhis. Fresh from an eight-year sabbatical in Nepal, during which time he ruminated of the nature of existence—while subsisting entirely on a diet of Peeps--Wanga has now returned to share his learned wisdom with us humble readers…

ASK WANGA

Dear Wanga,

Please help settle an argument. I say that Justin Timberlake is the coolest person alive, but my friend says I am wrong. What do you think?

- Kooky for JT

Coolest person? Justin Timberlake? Wanga has decided to give you a title: The Duke of Dumb. What make you think Justin Timberlake coolest person? Him have antifreeze glycoproteins in his bloodstream? Him somehow absorbed arctic grayling DNA? You put Timberlake in Siberian meatlocker, he STILL wouldn't be cool!

No, "Kooky", coolest person in world actually Thaddeus T. Pogknocker, of Skenechtady, NY, who maintain an average internal body temperature of 97.1 (which is technically class 1 hypothermia to most people!)Thaddeus attribute his low core temperature to steady diet of Toffifay, mint jelly, and ludevisk. (though Wanga has heard through grapevine that Thaddeus' have propensity for vast quantities of frozen
slushy drinks. Hmm… Wanga may have to borrow SUD's frozen drink machine to conduct further experiments).

Anyway, there your answer to your stupid question. Wanga has spoken.