The Drunkard's Dozen

The 12 Most Important Drinks of the Day
From Modern Drunkard Magazine

1. The Eye Opener- Rehumanize Yourself! Good morning! How’s your head? What’s that? You’d like it surgically removed and replaced with a beach ball? No need to go to extremes, chum. You are only a couple Eye Openers away from feeling very nearly human again. Whether it’s a Bloody Mary, a Zombie, or that half-finished nightcap seething on the coffee table, the first will make quick work of that nasty hangover and the second serves as an excellent breakfast.
Or you may wake up feeling, well, okay. It happens, I’m sure. Still, a nice cocktail might be just the thing to put a happier face on the long horrific ordeal of workaday drudgery awaiting your prompt arrival.

2. The Mid-Morning Nip - In Werewolf Country, Always Pack Silver Bullets! Your eyes fully opened, you plow into your morning labors. Oh, what fun. But alas, after about an hour that hangover starts clawing its way out of its shallow grave. Should have tamped the soil with a third Eye Opener, eh? Luckily you keep a handful of airplane bottles at the bottom your lower right hand drawer (Don’t you? Shouldn’t you?). A shooter of vodka poured into a bottle of Snapple from the vending machine and the beast is back-peddling like a recently re-elected senator. One or two of these clandestine cocktails and you’ll find yourself in a rather social mood. Perhaps a quick chat with the boss about that richly-deserved pay hike would be in order. Go get him, Tiger!

3. The Lunchtime Lubricant - A Salute From Atop the Hump! Whew! You made it. Lunch was made for the martini (you may opt for a healthful beer). The Three Martini Lunch is a grand American tradition and who are you to defy tradition? This happy trio of gin stems will surely make the rest of the workday seem an amusing jaunt.

4. The Low-Tide Tipple - Succor for the Stranded! Or so you thought. I mean, honestly, is that fucking clock moving backwards? Two hours in and your fine lunchtime glow has receded, leaving you mired in the mid-afternoon muck of low tide. You are now faced with the cruelest hours of all, the Sahara Desert Death March between three o’clock and clocking out. I’ve found you can jazz up these dour hours by e-mailing insults and invitations to your drinking comrades. Organizing the after-work drinking session can be as difficult as any actual labor, so another vodka/vending machine combo is an appropriate reward for your hard work.

5. The Happy Hour Hammer - Smash Those Chains! The first drink after work is a lovingly planted flag demarcating the line between labor and leisure. It could be a double bourbon to jolt you out of that harness, or a tall ice-cold cocktail to soothe your jangled nerves. The second Happy Hour Hammer is a tool of vengeance. The Goliath that is your job bullied and belittled you all goddamn day, and now it’s payback time. David got it done all by himself and with a single stone, but let’s face it: the kid got lucky. Best to gang up on the big bastard. Lucky for you The Happy Hour Hammer travels in pairs, if not packs. They’re easy on the prole’s pocketbook and notorious rabble-rousers, encouraging you to speak all sorts of treason against the source of your paycheck. It’s insurrection in a glass. When you’ve tired of kicking the giant’s corpse around, you will, once again, regain your status as a self-determinate human being, as opposed to just another insignificant cog in the big ugly machine.

6. The Sundowner - Cocktail at the Crossroads! The sweet golden light of Happy Hour has faded, prices have fluttered back up to their lofty perches, and there you teeter, balancing this fateful drink in your hands. Apollo is creeping behind the skyline, it is that twilight period the French call entre chien et le loup (between dog and wolf.) Happy Hour is the end of the journey for the dogs; it is the bridge to new adventures for the wolves. You are left with a singular question: is it time to shag it home like a good dog, or range into the night like a wild beast?

7. The Gateway Chug - Passkey to the Night! You might be a lot of things, but you sure as hell ain’t no goddamn dog. The Gateway Chug affirms this, it is the drink that celebrates and solidifies the fact that you’ve decided to make a night of it. You’ve crossed the rummy Rubicon and there’s no going back, at least not until the bouncer says so.

8. The Communal Cup - Good Times with the Tribe! This gregarious glass usually comes over the bar as a member of a large round. You feel a powerful bond with everyone around you, friends and strangers alike. You feel as if everyone in the joint is marching beneath a splendid banner toward some vague but magnificent goal. You just know you’re going to make it all the way, and you’re going to win when you get there. Win what? Who the hell knows? You’re just going to, that’s all. Downing the Communal Cup is probably the closest you’ll ever get to feeling a genuine bond with that shockingly dysfunctional family known as humanity.

9. The Surfboard of Euphoria - Top of the World, Ma! Midway through this drink that certain feeling arrives. The raucously buzzing room closes in around you and you feel that incomparably perfect sense of euphoria. All is right with the world. You are at that ultimate peak, riding the wave, and you can see all the way to Paradise. If only you could stay right there. If only.

10. The Velvet Hammer - Oblivion’s Gentle Shove! You’ve been lining them up, you’ve been knocking them down, and the light inside has grown so bright it’s beginning to blind you. You order this nice fat double (by now singles seem like a silly waste of time) and halfway through it you feel that soft thump to the side of your head. You fall in slow motion over the precipice into sweet madness and suddenly you’re slurring like a sailor, laughing like a lunatic and everything and every one seems perfectly hilarious.

11. One for the Ditch - The Long Kiss Goodbye! Last call has been called, and it seems absolutely essential you have one more — one more time around the wildly spinning carousel, one more chance to snatch at that brass ring. It’s like pouring kerosine into Hell at this point, but so what? They love the stuff down there and—hey, leggo! Can’t a man finish his damn drink?

12. The Night Cap - Saluting the Sandman! My God! Is that really the time? And what are these people doing in your living room, drinking your good liquor? You have to be at work in—fuck, you don’t even want to think about that. This drink serves not only to tuck you into bed (if you make it to your bed), it is the last hurrah until your fates falls back into the hands of the Man. So pour it strong (you will anyway) and don’t worry about finishing it (you won’t).

—Frank Kelly Rich

Christmas Lights

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Originally uploaded by renepaquin@sbcglobal.net

Christmas Lights was a great time! A group of 16 Suds members and friends enjoyed margaritas and yummy eats at Blue Agave. Several of us finished out the night dancing to music of the 70's and 80's at the Hangge Uppe club. Only 1 accident in the nasty ice and since I was not driving but rather trying to walk on the side walk at the time, it was not too bad!

The 25th Annual Millard Fillmore Weekend!

SUDS Social Club Presents:
The 25th Annual Millard Fillmore Weekend (we think it's 25th)

It’s that time, again… time to sign-up for our annual sojourn to Baraboo, Wisconsin.
It’s time to begin preparing your body for the 48 hours of endless eating, drinking, swimming, skiing, sleeping,gambling, more eating, more drinking and maybe no sleeping to which we have all become accustomed during the past 20+ trips. But, as always, this trip will be the best. As we did last year, we will be serving a few hundred hot dogs and numerous snacky-snacks in the Bob Miller Memorial Snack Area (located by the pool) on Friday night.

For those of you that cannot remember (because some of us are getting old…or sober), here’s what you can expect.

We’ll stay at The Mayflower Hotel II in the Wisconsin Dells. Be prepared to take advantage of the indoor pool, hot tub, sauna and game rooms that we’ll keep open until 1:00 am (or later) on Friday and Saturday nights. As in previous years, we’ll host a hospitality suite in the pool area. Of course, it will be stocked with a few kegs-o-beer, soda, wine, snacky-snacks (giddy-up!!!) AND FROZEN ADULT BEVERAGES (they don’t make slurpees like these at 7-11).

Once again, we’ll patronize The Big Country Colossal Breakfast Buffet (4 minutes from the hotel), offering a smorgasbord of beverages and breakfast treats.

Dinner on Saturday evening will again be at Wally’s House of Embers (across the street from the hotel - www.houseofembers.com). You will have a choice of prime rib or a combo BBQ ribs / roasted chicken dinner served with a salad, baked potato and a hot fudge sundae for dessert. A child menu is also available.

As always, the price of the trip includes your hotel room on Friday and Saturday, a ski lift ticket for Saturday, breakfast on Saturday and Sunday, dinner Saturday evening and your beer/wine/soda/FROZEN BEVERAGES on Friday and Saturday nights.

Did I mention you can ski at Cascade Mountain (lift ticket valid from 9:00am –
10:00pm Saturday is included in the package price) and/or gamble at the 24-hour gaming, liquor-serving ‘til 2:00am Ho-Chunk casino (about a 20 minute drive from the hotel)?

Dates:
January 25-27, 2008
NOTE: This is the bye weekend between the NFL Division Championship games and the Super Bowl

Check your inbox or mailbox for payment flier grids and start counting down the days!

Christmas Lights!

Suds Annual-ish Christmas Lights Tour will take place on Saturday, December 8, 2007.

Same as the last few times: Dinner at Blue Agave at 7:00, wander as we choose after, even if it is just to wander to another bar or to our cars to go home. A good time is typically had by all who can remember.

Please RSVP to sudsski@gmail.com before December 1. Hope to see you then!

Oh, and for those who wonder:
Yes, there was talk of a party, but since it is such a busy time of year for everyone it seemed as if there might not be enough interest. So, just planning a dinner made sense.

Millard Fillmore Help Topics for November

As the next Millard Fillmore trip approaches (less than 3 months) I started thinking, how could the Brewhaha help Suds members? The result of that thinking is the Millard Fillmore Help Topics. Each month I will bring you some sort of assistance to improve and extend your Millard Fillmore weekend.





This months topic: So you don't ski:



There is still plenty to do in The Dells. Even in January!



* You can lounge around the pool.

* You can enjoy one of the worlds greatest bloody mary's at the Ho-Chunk Casino.

* If the bloody mary is not your bag you can have a Strohs beer and while playing roulette or in the off track betting area of the Ho-Chunk!

* One of my favorite spots is the Forevertron. Some call it a garbage sculpture, I call it genius!

* I have never been to the Circus World Museum but rumor has it that it is a great place to confront one's coulrophobia.

* A winter sport that does not involve strapping your feet to wooden planks. What is Snow-tubing?

* I love this place! Moose Jaw is a good spot for lunch and a better spot for beer. I recommend the Milk Stout, or if your interested in trying a few get the sampler. They give you about 5 oz of each beer on tap for under $10.

* No trip to Wisconsin is complete without a Cow Pie.

* Finally, if you want to pretend that it is not the middle of winter, I hear that Marley's has a nice Jamaican Breeze year round.

October Meeting Notes

In attendance:
Melissa
Ray
John
Rene

President's Report - None
VP's Report - None
Treasurer's Report - None
Secretary's Report - No report, 1 request. I need a .jpeg (or other electronic file) of the Suds Logo.

Trip Committee Report:
- Rene is working on and will have a new flier before the next meeting.
- Al visited the hotel. The are under new ownership, but same management. He reserved our dates.
- John is checking rates and will advise of the price before the next meeting.
- Pricing structure may change. The member discount ($5) is not enough incentive to become a member. So we may change the discount to $10 or $15. More discussion is needed.

Events:
- Zoo Stagger was a success! Many Huzzas were said in Melissa's honor. A check will be issued to reimburse her for the expenses.
- Many options have been discussed for a Christmas Party. It has finally been decided that a dinner party, someplace in the suburbs will be best. Rene will be contacting restaurants and getting something set up before the next meeting.

Membership:
- We have 1 new member, Welcome Dave!

Zoo Stagger!

Congratulations to Melissa on reviving the zoo stagger! It appears that a good time was had by all!